I can't believe they're making me do something that is impossible. Unfortunately I'm a larger fool to go through with it. Why? Well simply because I felt sorry for them because my brother can't make their dreams come true.
I keep feeling sorry for others that I rather sacrifice my own dreams to fulfill theirs. Every time I think about it I pity myself so much. Its so pathetic. Life is unfair and I always remind myself that continuously. The more I say it the more I forget what I really want.
Just maybe my life purpose is to serve others and not dream too high and far.
There are times where I doubt myself; living in a hypocritical life. Where the cycle doesn't brake and the only way out is death. Thinking about it somehow brings me a little sense of relief that my crapped life will finally end and it would be over. However, I would never commit such a horrible idea no matter how it satisfy me. I can't do it because I can't burden others. The idea is tempting enough but I still have to live of others.
I know it may saddened others or maybe somehow it may brings someone else joy but I really do hope the cycle breaks and finally end. I don't know how long I can hold on to a thread anymore.
God please give an answer.
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