With one word a decision is made. That one special word is 'USELESS' and with that I decided that wouldn't go, it's a very cheap alternative to actually going.
She actually asks when he said that but then she used those words herself, the things they are; hypocrite. She asked why am I always comparing myself to him. Very easy, it's because my life decisions were all manipulated by his events.
He dropped out and they expect me to be the same. I keep telling them I'm a fighter but they didn't even listen to that. Apparently being smart has an upper advantage rather than actually making it with effort. All mistakes are forgiven when you have the brains of a making genius and no matter how much I show how I am different I would never have the upper hand just because he's somewhat brighter.
They told me to live morally right and yet they're deceiving themselves.
All that money went to his account, a benefit for him in all ways. I'm not even allowed to dream for a place in the community; apparently I'm those in the bottom of the hierarchy pyramid. I keep telling myself it's fine but it was never and it never will. Somehow today was the last straw and I decided to let it all go and live according to me.
It sounds ridiculous because you live everyday for yourself but no, no one ever live for their self.
He told me I was a waste, both money and time. So I decided to actually listen this time and not go to university.
The title is really what my life is. Sure it's great to look at because eyes are deceiving but the real truth is that I'll never be good enough to be on the field because the main star player will always be there.
I know this make no sense at all. No one will never understand and I'm not planning you to but I just needed someone to know my side of the story even though it's not clear.
I'm sorry.
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